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Another product endorsement. Posted by Hello

Miss Hag. would like to take this time to thank the makers of Hearos. The soft foam noise reduction aids that have a rate of 33 decibels. Coupled with Miss Hag.'s other new addiction, Tylenol PM,

Ahhh. Drugs... Posted by Hello

Miss Hag. can sleep peacefully and restfully for 8 hours straight.

I guess I should also take this time to say a great big thank you to Sugar Free Red Bull.
. Posted by Hello

Not only does this magical drink mix well with vodka and get lots of Jersey folk wasted so they overtip without realizing it and pay Miss Hag.'s rent, but it also helps Miss Hag. awaken from the Tylenol PM slumber she has to induce in order to fall asleep by noon.

Sound vicious and complicated? You have no idea.

link * Miss Marisol posted at 2:20 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 2:20 PM   |


I Always Feel Like Somebody's Washing Me

Uh-oh it's Magic. Posted by Hello

If you know Miss Hag. at all (and if you read this, you probably do), then you know that one of her favorite things to do is clean.

An ideal afternoon? Dancing around to Stevie Wonder in my apartment naked in a pair of heels, drinking wine and cleaning. Today, I got my eyebrows waxed and had a pedicure. After, I went to Duane Reade and picked up some cleaning supplies for an afternoon of blissful scrubbing and sweeping. I grabbed some of my favorites: the Swiffer duster, Windex Multi-Surface Wipes with Vinegar and some drawstring trashbags. I paused for a moment while pondering tile scrubber and looked at the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.I've been skeptical of this product every time I see it. How can a white foam sponge thingy be so magical? It was only five dollars, so I decided to give a try. Live dangerously.

Well. Let me tell you, sisters and brothers. This freakin' thing is magical. You run in under some water and it cleans everything. I scrubbed my bathtub with it and the soap scum just fell off the tub like it was allergic. I swear. It was incredible! I cleaned things that weren't even dirty just to see them become sparkly and shiny. I can eat off of my toilet. I won't, but I could . . .

I know I sound like a scary Stepford wife or some hack on an infomercial, but if you want to see some domestic magic, go get one of these suckers. It will flip your pancakes, baby.

link * Miss Marisol posted at 12:52 AM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 12:52 AM   |



i miss you like the deserts miss the rain. Posted by Hello

it's favorite lyrics monday for miss hag.

If you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine,
And if you're lost I'm right behind,
'Cause we walk the same line.

Now, I don't have to tell you how slow the night can go,
I know you've watched for the light.
And I bet you could tell me how slowly four follows three,
And you're most forlorn just before dawn.

So if you lose your faith babe, you can have mine,
And if you're lost, I'm right behind,
'Cause we walk the same line.
When it's dark baby,there's a light I'll shine,
And if you're lost, I'm right behind,
'Cause we walk the same line.

And I don't need reminding how loud the phone can ring
When you're waiting for news.
And that big old moon lights every corner of the room.
Your back aches from lying and your head aches from crying.

And if these troubles should vanish like rain on midday,
Well, I've no doubt there'll be more.
And we can't run and we can't cheat,
'Cause baby when we meet what we're afraid of,
We find out what we're made of.

link * Miss Marisol posted at 3:24 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 3:24 PM   |

Gonzo, baby.

Gonzo. Posted by Hello

The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb gray hairs Hunter S. Thompson .

Greatness weighs heavily on the human soul. Fare thee well, fair prince of words!

link * Miss Marisol posted at 9:02 AM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 9:02 AM   |


The World is Your Campus, The World's Second Home is in NYC

Not long after being accepted into Kalamazoo College, I received a white t-shirt with all the flags of the world arranged in neat rows across the front and back of the shirt. Across the top it read, "Kalamazoo College - The World is Your Campus."

I remember feeling quite special until I arrived on campus and saw that everyone got a t-shirt. Apparently, I would be sharing the world with the rest of the class of '97.

Now, I live in NYC and I read today that Mayor Bloomberg is applying to trademark a new slogan for my new home . . .

NYC Seeks to Trademark a New Slogan
Thu Feb 17, 5:58 AM ET U.S. National - AP
NEW YORK - Forget "The Big Apple." New York now wants to be known as "The World's Second Home."
The city has filed an application to trademark the slogan, "The World's Second Home," giving the city exclusive rights to use it to promote business and tourism.
The phrase is likely to come up often as New York makes its push to host the 2012 Olympics.
If application No. 78484751 is accepted, the city would have exclusive rights to attach the phrase to a list of more than 200 products and services, according to Thursday's editions of the New York Times.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a self-made billionaire, has been much more aggressive about filing for city trademarks and patents than his predecessors. One such application includes licensing the phrase "Made in NY."
In the 1970s, the New York Convention and Visitors Bureau officially gave New York City the moniker "The Big Apple." Around the same time, the state took on the "I (Heart) NY" slogan.

Apparently, slogans are very important to the national identity. How else would we know how to define our friends in North Dakota? Miss Hag. welcomes any and all new slogans her readers may like to submit for New York City. My vote . . . New York City: Can't Handle the Dirty? Stay out of the Martini.

Studio Apt. Posted by Hello

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen on TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware: Who Needs a Motto When You're Barely a State?
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Gateway to Iowa
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: Not Part of Massachusetts Since the Missouri Compromise
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: For Sale
Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want a #$@%#!@ Motto? I Got Yer #$@%#!@ Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney,You Have the Right to Make Fun of People From New Jersey
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland
Oklahoma: Like the Play...Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Se Hablo Ingles
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: We All Smoke Pot!
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming: Wynot?

link * Miss Marisol posted at 2:35 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 2:35 PM   |


It Hasn't Just Gone Away . . . Posted by Hello

Resistant HIV alarms New York
By Marc Santora, Lawrence Altman New York February 13, 2005

A rare strain of HIV that is highly resistant to virtually all anti-retroviral drugs and appears to lead to the rapid onset of AIDS was detected in a New York man last week, city health officials have announced.
It was the first time a strain of HIV had been found that showed resistance to multiple drugs as well as leading to AIDS so quickly, the officials said. While the extent of the spread of the disease is unknown, officials called a news conference on Friday to say the situation was alarming.
"We consider this a major potential problem," the commissioner of New York's health and mental hygiene department, Dr Thomas Frieden, said.
The department alerted all hospitals and doctors in the city to test all newly detected HIV cases for evidence of the rare strain.
The virus was found in a man in his mid-40s who engaged in unprotected sex with other men on multiple occasions while using crystal methamphetamine. The drug's erasure of inhibitions and stimulating effect have long been blamed by health officials for sex marathons that have increased the spread of HIV.
The man, who was not named, is believed to have had unprotected sex with hundreds of partners, according to one person familiar with the case.
Some AIDS specialists around the country were sceptical of the alarm, believing that it might be an isolated case related to the patient's immune system. But Dr Frieden said the case increased the importance for gay men of practising safe sex.
"This case is a wake-up call," he said. "First, it's a wake-up call to men who have sex with men, particularly those who may use crystal methamphetamine. Not only are we seeing syphilis and a rare sexually transmitted disease - lymphogranuloma venereum - among these men, now we've identified this strain of HIV that is difficult or impossible to treat and which appears to progress rapidly to AIDS."
While HIV strains that are resistant to some anti-retroviral drugs have been on the rise in recent years, both in New York and nationally, city and federal officials said the new case was worrying for several reasons.
The viral strain was resistant to three of the four classes of drugs used to treat HIV from the moment the patient was infected. Typically, drug resistance comes after a patient is treated with retroviral drugs, often because they veer from the prescribed course. And, more often than not, a person is resistant only to one or two classes of drugs.
But in this case, the drug resistance came in combination with a rapid transformation into AIDS. Both of those things have been seen before, but not together.
"What's unique about this is the combination of multiple drug resistance and a rapid course," the director of HIV/AIDS prevention at the Centres for Disease Control in Atlanta, Dr Ronald Valdiserri, said. "To folks in the public health community, that is a particularly dangerous combination."
He said that while it was an isolated case at this time, the centres had informed health departments around the country out of concern.
Dr David Ho, director of the Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Centre in New York, which did the testing that identified the rare strain, described the convergence of the two problems as "a scary phenomenon".
But not everyone agreed.
Dr Robert Gallo, co-discoverer of the AIDS virus and director of the Institute of Human Virology at the University of Maryland, was sceptical of Friday's announcement. "My guess is that this is much ado about nothing," he said. "Though it's prudent to follow it, I don't think it's necessary to issue a warning or alert the press."
Dr Gallo said it was well known that some patients progress from initial infection to full-blown AIDS very rapidly, but this was usually because the patient was highly susceptible, not because the virus was virulent. He said this case, where the virus was both drug-resistant and the progression rapid, was rare but not necessarily alarming.
Dr Frieden said the limited epidemiological investigation in this case showed that the patient could have developed AIDS in as little as two months, but that it might have taken as long as 10 months.
On average, it takes 10 years from the time a person is first infected with HIV to the development of AIDS.
At the news conference, held in New York, Dr Frieden was joined by nearly a dozen community leaders and medical experts in AIDS.
Several participants said they were experiencing the same worried feeling they had more than two decades ago, when AIDS first appeared and there was still no treatment
- New York Times

When Miss Hag. was a wee one, AIDS became a frightening phenomenon, but she was far removed from its direct effects in her wee little hometown. Since moving to New York and falling madly in love with a community of middle aged gay men, that is not so. I witnessed a frightnening conversation this morning. Several of my closest gay male friends were more than a little upset by the bold scary headlines on the Daily New and the Horrible Post. A new form of AIDS. Deadlier. Faster. Resistant to drugs.

Things were said like, "We knew this was coming . . ." Murmuring discussions of watching so many friends pass away so quickly. Miss Hag. got scared. My life is vastly intertwined with the gay community. I have been cared for, raised by, befriended by and deeply loved so very many of the New York city gay community. Pop culture is re-embracing the 1980's. Let's hope the part of it is left in the past.
Posted by Hello

link * Miss Marisol posted at 11:03 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 11:03 PM   |


Daniel DeNapoli, Subway NYC. Posted by Hello

Today, one of my essays, Late Night Train, got accepted for publishing!! It will be on Mr.Beller's Neighborhood, in association with Open City Magazine. They added some lovely typos on Miss Hag.'s behalf.
Check it out at: http://www.mrbellersneighborhood.com/story.php?storyid=1570

link * Miss Marisol posted at 10:19 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 10:19 PM   |


The boy with kaleidoscope eyes. Posted by Hello

The following is an excerpt from the MoMA P.S.1 website about Ashkan Sahihi's portraiture series entitled: The Drug Series. Above is one of the subjects, the one that Sahihi stated in an interview with Vice magazine, " . . . got the most high and seemed to have the most fun." He was on mescaline.

The eleven cibachrome prints in The Drug Series—Crack, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijauna, LSD, Psilocybin, Ketamine, Ectasy, Amphetamine, Hashish, and Mescaline—depict a cross-cultural sample of adults ranging in age from 24-28 years who had little or no prior experience with drugs. During the sessions, only the artist, the volunteer, the volunteer’s choice of companion, and a nurse were allowed in the studio. After signing releases, the volunteers took a dose of their designated drug and waited for the chemical to take hold. This "clinical" approach was motivated in part by Sahihi’s desire to see how the traditional relationship between a photographer and his subject is changed, when a third party, such as a hallucinogenic drug, asserts its own force. For each drug/subject cycle in The Drug Series, Sahihi then selected the one image that he felt best represented the volunteer’s experience on the particular drug he or she ingested. The resulting images of the anonymous subjects suggest the unpredictability of a drug’s force; some people smile or laugh, others appear pensive and detached, another is disoriented, unreachable.

Sahihi’s attempt to control the experience underscores the specificity of an individual’s reaction based on variables such as body weight, gender or mental history. However, the portraits make manifest a general reality of drug use that often remains unseen. In Sahihi’s white-walled, brightly-lit studio, the photographs become a visual record of the physiological effects of drug use—blotchy skin, bloodshot eyes and dilated pupils—that often go undetected at night. By attempting to present an objective image of drug use, the artist addresses the cultural politics that allow our society to simultaneously glamorize the "drug look" in fashion magazines and the entertainment industry, and meanwhile, turn a blind eye to the complicated, and vast, problem of drug abuse.

Miss Hag. has long supported recreational drug use. However, this weekend, she has been dealing with the possibility of one of her chosen family members entering a treatment program of some sort. It has not been a pretty journey, particularly since Miss Hag. is not what one could describe as "clean and sober." She is afraid her enabler will have lost her drinking buddy.

It leads me to think of people I have known who have gone through "The Program" as AA is often referred. Many seem to work well within the boundaries of the twelve steps. But, for many, the program will sometimes replace one addiction with another: addiction to the program.
Augusten Burroughs writes about his experience in rehab in his memoir, Dry. There is a moment early on when Burroughs writes about hoping rehab will teach him how to drink like a normal person. It has stayed with me because I believe that this is not as ridiculous as it may seem to sound. There has to be a way to teach moderation. "Just say No," the War on Drugs and "Wait till you're 21" have not been realistic or successful.

Certainly, there are people whose biology will not allow a puff of a joint or a bump of cocaine. But, that is not necessarily true for all people. Some of the best writing I have created has been while I have been stoned. But, in general, most people do not seem to know how to moderate. I have too much experience interacting with people who have reached a point in intoxication that is not amusing or fun. I fear this point has been reached within even my closest circle of friends. How do we start drinking (or smoking or snorting, what have you) for the right reasons?

"This session scared me completely. She never barfed and just sat there for a really long time scratching her face. She seemed incredibly bored, uncreative, unemotional and numb," Ashkan Sahihi. Heroin. Posted by Hello

link * Miss Marisol posted at 7:37 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 7:37 PM   |



Make it stop. Posted by Hello

There are approximately 6.41 billion people on the planet as of 02.07.05. Of those 6 billion people, 99% are complete assholes. Wankers. Fuckwads. Dipshits.

Think I'm wrong? Prove it.

This past weekend, I was driven to tears by the actions of three separate individuals over the course of a 2 day work period. The first person yelled at me because there were too many french fries on the plate belonging to his 5 year old son who apparently has a weight problem. It is apparently my duty as a random waitress to be the dietary monitor for complete strangers' children. After berating me for several minutes and demanding I remove the offensive food from the plate (since apparently, he as the parent, was too weak to do himself), the family then proceeded to ORDER ANOTHER SIDE OF FRENCH FRIES. The second person to force me to misery yelled at me and smacked me in the back because it was crowded in the restaurant and she did not want to push her chair in so I could pass through. And finally, the asshole of the year told me that I was a bitch because I would not let his party of two people sit at a table set for ten people. He then said, "Fuck you" and threw a saltshaker at me.

These are not isolated incidents, folks. In fact, 99% of the people that I encounter on a daily basis are rude, selfish and violent. And the saddest part is, they are making me in to one of them.

... Posted by Hello

link * Miss Marisol posted at 7:54 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 7:54 PM   |


Drinking right wing Kool-Aid. Posted by Hello

This morning on Airmerica radio Unfiltered, Lizz Winstead suggested the State of The Union Drinking Game.
Everytime Bush says the following words, take a shot or swig of your chosen poison. It may help the lies go down.

*Bankrupt * Frivolous *Activist Judges *Iraq (didn't use in inaugural speech) and
*Behind or Leaving Anything Behind

link * Miss Marisol posted at 1:18 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 1:18 PM   |


Postcard from Texas

18-Year-Old Student Sues Over Paddling
Lawsuit Alleges Civil Rights Violations, Negligence

POSTED: 11:06 am CST January 30, 2005

Wrong on so many levels. Posted by Hello

SAN ANTONIO -- When Jessica Serafin enrolled in a charter high school, her mother signed a form allowing administrators to paddle her as punishment.

But by the time a summer school principal paddled her last June, Serafin was already 18 and legally an adult.

She's now suing the School of Excellence in Education, San Antonio's largest charter school, alleging it was wrong for the principal to paddle an adult student without her consent She says the beating she received for leaving campus to get breakfast was so severe she had to go to the emergency room.

The lawsuit was filed Jan. 10 in state district court. Last week, a notice was filed to move it to federal court.

Although the lawsuit also alleges civil rights violations and negligence, a key element in the case is her age and the fact she didn't consent, her attorney said.

"This case is not about a crusade against corporal punishment," said Dan Hargove, her attorney. "It's not a crusade against charter schools. ... This case is about three adults holding down an adult female and beating her with a wooden paddle so bad that she ended up in the hospital."

The school's attorney, Jeff Gately, said the lawsuit "contains some blatant falsehoods."

Gately said he and several school officials investigated the girl's account and found it to be without merit.

The principal's attorney declined to comment, saying he didn't want to try the case in the media.

The School of Excellence in Education advocates an "old-school" approach to discipline. Uniforms must be tucked in, girls can wear only one pair of earrings, and boys must open doors and pull out chairs for their female peers. (Miss Hag. likes the chair thing, but the accessory limitation? For shame.) It is the only public school in Bexar County that paddles students.

Serafin says the summer school principal, who is a named defendant in the lawsuit, hit her three or four times. She said she tried to block one of the blows and the paddle "smashed her hand."

"I started screaming because I thought he had broke my hand," she said.

Serafin said she went to the hospital because she could hardly walk after school and her hand was severely swollen. Her hand was put in a cast at the emergency room.

State law allows parents to spank their minor children if the parent "reasonably believes the force is necessary to discipline the child or to safeguard or promote his welfare." But the law does not allow parents to use force on children who are 18 or older, Hargove said.

Hargove contends the school was acting on behalf of Serafin's parents, and therefore, shouldn't have been allowed to paddle an adult student.

But St. Mary's University law professor Gerald Reamey said another part of the law allows educators to use corporal punishment without age restrictions to "further the educational purpose or maintain discipline."

Attorney Philip Marzec, who represents local school districts, said it is difficult for a plaintiff to prevail against a school district in a paddling lawsuit because they generally are immune from allegations of negligence relating to corporal punishment.

But districts can be sued for civil rights violations, Marzec said. The plaintiff would have to show that a school policy or sanctioned practice led to the violation.

The San Antonio Express-News contributed to this article.
Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed

Miss Hag. finds this issue complicated. The fine line between abuse and discipline. There has to be a way to distill values and respect in a person without resorting to violence. Certainly, in this case, Miss Serafin's actions did not warrant being beaten until her hand was broken. She was 18 years old at the time (a legal adult) and wanted to eat lunch off of high school grounds. If she had attacked a fellow student or teacher, then it might make sense to turn to physical restraint or punishment.
On the one hand, you don't want give children unrestrained freedom to act out all of their uninformed whims. On the other hand, it is not proven effective to beat a child into learning. Reason alone should dictate whether or not the hands should be holding a paddle.

link * Miss Marisol posted at 5:17 PM * posted by Miss Marisol @ 5:17 PM   |