Thank You, Mr. Fuck.Thank you, Mr. Man Who First Used The Word Fuck, heretofore referred to as one, Mr. Fuck.
I just spent the last hour dancing around in my fucking apartment wearing short-shorts and a suggestively ripped tank top that reads: "The Only Bush I Trust is My Own." It is colder than cocksuckers outside and I have my oven door wide open and turned up to 500 degrees. I will probably kill myself with carbon monoxide.
"Fuck," I said to myself, "Self, Life is just so fucked up right now. I am completely fucked up in so many lovely and horrible ways. Fuck! Motherfuck-a-fuck. Fuck-along-a-ding-dong."
I have been unbearably incapable of writing.
But, I was absolutely compelled to write this.
So, thank you, Mr. Fuck, for giving me a word that so satisfies everything I feel right now and has motivated me to write something, albeit insiginficant.