2.13.2006

We Interrupt This Silence To Bring You Random Nonsense.

I had a dream last night that my head had swollen to ginormous proportions. It was so large that I could barely balance it atop my neck. So, me and my exceedingly large head were at a party with lots of beautiful people and we were all sitting around a big pile of cocaine. But, the cocaine was not white. It was rusty brown. My friend, Anne, and I were the only ones with razor blades, so we furtively pounded the little blocks of coke into snortable piles.

The whole time we reveled at this party, I wasn't particularly worried that I could be dying because my head had swollen to a dangerous size; I was worried about trying to appear attractive to the others at the party.

I kept trying to pose so my big head wouldn't seem so big. And smoothing down the skin on my big head so it wouldn't look stretchy and shiny.

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It occurred to me the other day when I was watching "Just Like Heaven," (shut up, I happen to really like Mark Ruffalo) that whenever a film has a tough/unconventional female lead who has to "learn a lesson about life," you can always tell when she has "softened" because her hair suddenly has these wispy natural looking curls.

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Two things I never want to do again:

-- Buy and wear black nylons because I have to be tasteful at a funeral.
-- Make a playlist for a loved one's viewing because the funeral home only has weird traditional Indian music to play. I let them keep my CD mix of John Mayer/Jimi Hendrix and Bright Eyes.

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This snowman has a snow penis. (Insert obvious blowjob joke.)

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