12.08.2005

No More Cartoon. . .?

"I live in the most expensive city in the country because I have long believed, and had many people convinced, that my career was dependent upon it. I spend money on martinis and expensive dinners because, as is typical among my species of debtor, I tell myself that martinis and expensive dinners are the entire point--the point of being young, the point of living in New York City, the point of living."
-- Meghan Daum, "My Misspent Youth"

Over breakfast this morning, I read this, spit out my coffee and screamed.

Noooooooooooo!



For the unititiated, Cartoon Network has long (six years) been the safest, most efficient marijuana delivery service in New York City. Or . . .ummm, like, so I've heard.

One easy phone call and within an hour you could have a friendly, hardworking person come right to your door with little plastic boxes of cannabis goodness. And for every plastic box you buy, you get a free lottery scratch ticket. A free lottery scratch ticket, for Chrissakes! How generous! How good natured!

Well, apparently, they got pinched.

My sadness is palpable. (But, Miss Hag., you quit smoking the wacky tobacky, right?)

Well, that's not the point.

It's New York Freakin' City, dammit!

That's the whole point of living here, y'all. To drink $15 martinis at 4 in the morning. To wait three months to get a chance to have a thousand dollar dinner and to peruse $30 knockoff Hermes bags for sale on the street. To buy batteries for a dollar on the subway.

And, ultimately, to have everything brought to your doorstep for a certain amount of money: your perfectly cleaned and folded laundry, beers from the corner store at five in the morning, a weeks worth of groceries, and yes. . .a relatively harmless plant to stick in a pipe and smoke so you can sit around with your friends giggling and analyzing meaningful music lyrics.

Here's to you: Cartoon Network. Here's hoping we'll be together again. Someday.





File Under: Norml