10.27.2005

A Woman Left to Her Own Devices

Day One of my vacation in my own apartment.

My Live In Long-term Soon to Be Ex-Boyfriend, heretofore known as LIL S'BEB left at four a.m. to fly out to San Francisco where he will be for a week. I helped him into a yellow cab and stumbled up the three flights of stairs to my very quiet apartment and fell asleep alone. And in silence.

What does a woman do alone in her own apartment for the first few hours that her LIL S'BEB is gone?

If she is me, she dances around in her underwear for a few minutes. Turns on NPR in the living room and David Bowie in the bedroom. She drinks a whole pot of coffee brewed with cinnamon which her LIL S'BEB hates. Makes herself scrambled egg whites and eats half of them. She then goes out and rents a large stack of horrible movies to watch as she falls asleep alone later tonight. (Classics like "Four Weddings and a Funeral" which would make LIL S'BEB dry heave in boredom.)

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to put on some heels, smoke a joint and do some sit-ups while listening to Janet Jackson's Control.