Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Give me one moment in time. When I'm more than I thought I could be.
Yeah, fuck you. You love that song.
I OVERHEARD THIS CONVERSATION IN THE GYM LOCKER ROOM THE OTHER DAY. I SHOULD HAVE RESPONDED WITH WHAT I WAS THINKING, BUT I'M TRYING TO BE A NICE PERSON.
Skinny Girl # 1 -- Ohmigosh. Those pants are so cee-yuuute. What size are they? Can I borrow them?
Skinny Girl # 2 -- Oh. They're, like, a 1 or a 2.
S. G. # 1 -- Awww.
S. G. # 2 -- What?
S. G. -- Well, I wear, like, a zero.
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID --
Miss Hag. -- How's that working out?
(To S.G. # 1)
S. G. # 1 -- How's what working out?
M.H. -- Being anti-matter.
Soundtrack: Roaring, raucous laughter.