8.03.2005

Jai Guru Day Brraah . . .

First, a note of apology to my blog-amigos. I have been on the 'puter less during my vacation (all i ever wanted) and thus, absent from the comment trails at your sites. I'll be catching up soon.

It would be untrue for me to say that I never get hit on. However, since I have been in a relationship for several years, I less frequently in situations where most of the people are, in fact, in the process of finding potential dates. Therefore, I have far less practice deflecting men's advances.

Case in point.

I was with the kids last night having cocktails when a really unattractive man came up and asked me to dance. At first, I thought he was joking so I didn't respond. When he repeated the request I said, "Oh, I don't really dance."

This was the nicest way I could think to say "no" without saying "no." I didn't want to dance with him.

"Awww. Come on."

"Oh, I really just want to finish my drink. But, thank you."

"Just one dance? Come on. What's your name?"

"Jane."

This is the name I give to anyone I don't want to know my real name.

"Come on, Janie."

Still trying to be nice, I changed tactics and picked up my camera. I said, "Actually, I'm kind of doing this photo project thing with my friends right now, so I can't dance with you."

This still didn't seem to work. He kept pushing the idea and even started rubbing up against my leg. I started getting pissed off.

"Look," I said firmly, "Your chances are steadily plummeting. You should go."

This is when Patrick interceded. However, this only pissed me off more because the guy was starting to get aggressive with my gay boyfriend. So, I talked to him like I talk to customers at my job who act like assholes.

"You know, you reeeealy need to go now because you are pissing me off and I am not afraid to punch you."

At this, he sort of grunted and walked away. But as he walked away he said, "If you touch me, I will slap the shit out of you."

This set off my alpha male alarm and I puffed up my chest like a territorial gorilla. I motioned at him and said, "Come on, buddy. I'm not scared of you." And, I wasn't.

However, I was, at that moment, incredibly glad to not be out there dating anymore. I don't think I would be very good at it.

Read the signs, folks. They're always there.

Click to see pics from Days 2 and 3.