Approaching the Drop
12 Things I Have Learned Since I Met You 12 Years Ago
1. Never pluck your eyebrows when you're stoned.
2. If you buy a car for $1200, don't expect it to make it a full lap around the country.
3. Don't eat mushrooms that grow out of your kitchen walls.
4. Assume every man is gay until you sleep with them. (In Betsey's case, never assume anything.)
5. Vodka is a great lover, a mediocre friend and a terrible business partner.
6. Have thoughts and think about them.
7. It's fiction as soon as it's over.
8. Always get photo approval.
9. There's always time for massages and pedicures.
10. Listen like you haven't heard the story a million times before.
11. If the phone rings twice in the middle of the night, you have to answer the second time.
12. We are very very very lucky fools.