1.19.2005

Good Manners Turn Me On

Good Manners Turn Me On.

One topic of constant concern to myself and my friends (who are now or have been in the service industry) is manners. We encounter such horrific manners on a daily basis that we have become cynical and angry people.

For instance, last week I was working on a busy Thursday night and a customer at one of the tables left the table and went around the corner to the deli. He purchased a pint of Haagen Dazs and ate it at the table nonchalantly. Like it was no big deal. When we confronted him that, no, you cannot bring outside food into a restaurant and consume it, one of his friends at the table exclaimed, "Well, someone should tell people you can't do that!"

Apparently, no one is being taught about good manners and etiquette. I have done a little web research and I see that there are books for young children about manners and there are even courses for business people on good business etiquette. However, everyday good manners are a lost art. One that desperately needs re-finding.

Some of the most basic skills I notice (and some of my pet peeves):

** Say "please" and "thank you." These phrases are invaluable, especially in restaurants. Just watch how much your service improves when you ask for something by saying, "May I please have . . ." instead of "Give me . . . " or "I want . . ." Think you don't do it? You're wrong. I see parents telling their children to say these phrases, turning around and barking at me, "Hey! Coffee!"

** If someone holds a door open for you as a courtesy, say "Thank you" and, unless they held the door for you because your hands are obviously full of packages, make a motion to grab the door in passing. Not only are you acknowledging that the kind person before you is not a doorman, you will probably pass along the kindness to the person behind you.

** For God's sake, cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. Do I have to explain WHY?

** If you bump into someone on the sidewalk or in a store (or anywhere, really), say, "Pardon me," or "Excuse me." Some people will even say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." It is understandable that bumping happens. But if you do not acknowledge that it may be an annoyance to the bumpee, then you are rude.

For further research, Miss Hag. recommends Rudebusters, Grabbing a Bite, and American Table Manners. See also The Ten Commandments Of Good Manners and Emily Post. Even handbagger, Kate Spade, has a manners guide.

Finally, keep this in mind from John Wanamaker; "Courtesy is the one coin you can never have too much of or be stingy with." Spend freely, my friends.